Tuesday, 9 February 2010

"SALT 'N' VINEGAR?" Best chippy in town

"My Name is Dave Arnold......and I am a Chip-Shopaholic"

I really don't have many vices. I don't drink, do any drugs or smoke. But I do have one all consuming bad habit....chips!
To add insult to injury...I like 'em steeped in salt and swimming in vinegar, to the point of embarassment.
I have this routine/ritual I go through each time I buy chips. When the girl behind the counter asks "Salt 'n' vinegar?" I reply "That's OK, I will put my own on, thanks". I seize the salt and vinegar and at this point in the proceedings, I ask for a can of Coke from the fridge behind her and while her back is turned.....I  squeeze the vinegar like a washing up bottle with all my might, shooting out a hosepipe-force jet, half-filling the styrene tray. I then feverishly shake on a months supply of salt on the soggy mound. If there are other people queuing up in the shop, I look out the door with a concerned expression, as if a crime is being commited, so as to divert attention away from  my vulgar, dispicable act.
I can actually sympathise with smokers, drug addicts and alcoholics. I know that all this chippery, saltery and vinegary will eventually kill me but......it just tastes so jolly good!
As if my chip habit wasn't bad enough, recently I find myself unable to resist ordering a couple of "Smacks" on the top. These are essentially giant, fat, bulbous chips fryed in batter!
To garnish , I ask for "Pea Wet". There is no charge for this and as the name implies, it is merely strained water from the mushy peas. This seems to be only available in chip shops in the 5 mile surrounding Wigan area, ask for "Pea Wet" in Haydock or Westhoughton and you will get a one yard blank stare across the counter. It is strange to me, that it is perfectly acceptable in Wigan chip shops to ask for "Pea Wet" and they willingly give it free of charge, without any stigma attached. However, woe betide the thrifty patron who dares to ask for "Bean Wet". The collective chip shop owners seem to take this as a personal affront, "Bugger off you cheapskate and get yer hand in yer pocket!"
Anyway,WHELLY CHIPPY  is hands down the best chippy in Wigan, . It is also called WHELLY DELI, which has a nice ring to it but I have never ever witnessed anyone buy anything whatsoever from the "Deli Menu".
Its not located in the town centre, it's tucked away up a small side street, so you won't accidently stumble upon it and it closes at 8.45pm......always a sign of a good chippy. The proprieters already made their money at Lunchtime and Teatime with queues out of the door. They don't have to put up with late night rowdy shenanegins when the pubs and nightclubs empty.
Unluckily for me, this chippy is located really close to the band rehearsal space and everytime I see the neon sign I feel compelled to pull over and stuff my face, even if I am not hungry!!
It's a hard habit to break......

No comments:

Post a Comment